He Had No Idea
by animechick824
Summary: Jason would not break another promise to Carly, not for as long as he lived. So Carly finally gets those phones that she's wanted for over a decade. Jarly. Carjax.
1. He Had No Idea

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Author's Note: I really hated Jason and Carly's confrontation today. Sometimes I don't think that Jason appreciates how much Carly loves him. He seems to have already forgotten just who risked her life and teamed up with Jerry Jacks to get him out of jail.

Jason always said he didn't take Carly for granted. He claimed that he appreciated her love and friendship. He never told her that he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

He had no idea.

Carly looked at Jason just once more before she left the office, as tears winded their way down her cheeks. If Jason had known that it was the last time he would ever see her with love for him shining in her eyes, he would have stopped her. Tried to explain what he was feeling; explain that he was sorry he snapped at her; tell her that he understood where she was coming from. But he didn't, because he was in pain over keeping the fact that Jake was his son a secret. And he realized that Carly was trying to help him, but once again he didn't appreciate her love and loyalty.

And now he's lost that love and loyalty. Lost her.

He was so caught up in his own personal problems that he didn't protect the people that should have been first on his list. And his compassion for Johnny's situation as a child born into the mob overshadowed his number one priority: to keep Carly and her boys safe.

He failed.

As many times as he had broken promises to Carly (giving up Michael), pushed her away (she should never have gone to Sonny), lied to her ("I've done something you're not going to like" – Sam is really having Sonny's baby), shut her out (keeping Jake a secret for months), Jason had never done anything Carly couldn't find it in herself to forgive him for. She would lie, cheat, kill, and make deals with the enemy (Jerry) to help him, in anyway she could, anyway she thought he needed.

Until now. And it was all his fault.

He knew Michael was acting up, getting in trouble. Caught him with the gun in Sonny's office. Listened to Carly complain about his behavior, about Michael wanting to join the organization when he was older. But, Jason had been distracted. And he had never imagined what could have happened – he was never good at thinking about the future.

It was no excuse.

Michael had gotten in over his head. Bought a gun from some punk kids. Thought he was protecting his mother and little brother. Jason should have talked to him. Realized that as Carly's child he would scheme and plan until he got his way or it blew up in his face.

It blew up in his face. Literally.

And Jason wasn't there to save him.

Michael died at exactly 7:43 p.m. on Saturday, January 26, 2008. And as Michael's heart monitor flat lined for the last time, Carly looked up at Jason for the last time with any feeling in her eyes.

Jason saw the love and affection Carly had for him die along with that little boy.

His nephew by blood; his son in his heart. Jason had been so distracted by Jake, the child that Elizabeth wouldn't let him have, that he had forgotten Michael, the child that he had given up.

And now Carly felt nothing for him. No love. No affection. Not even hatred.

Jason thinks that he could even handle Carly's hatred, because at least that meant that she still had some feelings for him. At least then he could still get a rise out of her. But now…

Nothing. She no longer smiled that smile that lit up the room when she saw him. Her eyes didn't light up when he said "hello". She no longer meddled in his affairs. Didn't push him to claim Jake.

She was even cordial with Elizabeth. And Robin.

Because she didn't care about him.

And it killed Jason to see how much better off her life was without him. He always thought that he saved her, but after Carly cut herself out of his life with fine precision, Jason realized that he was really dragging her down.

She didn't worry about him anymore. She didn't care if he was happy, sad, depressed, or angry. All the grudges that she held against the world for him seemed to disappear.

Carly threw herself into her life with Jax. She grieved for Michael, took care of Morgan, and worked on her relationships with Lulu and her mother. All the energy that she had devoted to him found much better uses in the rest of her life.

And he hated it.

Hated that the special look in her eyes that was always reserved for him she now saved especially for Jax. He caught it one time, walking in on them talking in the lobby of the Metro Court.

Because he hasn't been to her house since Michael died. And she hasn't come by the office.

It seems that whatever obsession she had with Sonny's life disappeared with Michael's life too. She let him do whatever he wished, as long as he kept Morgan safe and spent time with him.

And when Carly became pregnant with Jax's child? He didn't find out until she was four months along.

He wasn't invited to the doctor's appointments. He wasn't shown the sonograms. He didn't get to listen to her debate different names.

Nothing.

And when Carly had the child? He found out that it was a girl from Monica. 7 lbs. 7 oz. Healthy delivery.

She didn't need him to save her that time. She had Jax.

And Jason didn't even see the baby until she was three months old. He wasn't invited to her hospital room. He wasn't invited to the baptism. And he certainly wasn't asked to be godfather.

No, that was Jerry Jax's job.

And Lulu was godmother.

And Elizabeth and Robin attended the ceremony. And Monica. And Sonny.

But not Jason.

Jason was kept as far away from Jessica Jane Jacks as possible. Carly's little blonde-haired blue-eyed angel. The little daughter that she always dreamed about.

Jax gave her the dream that Jason refused to.

And Jax was probably the happiest man alive right now. A beautiful wife, a well-behaving stepson, and his own little angel.

With two more on the way, Jason just found out.

From Sam, Carly's new best friend.

Jason always said he didn't take Carly for granted. He claimed that he appreciated her love and friendship. He never told her that he couldn't imagine his life without her in it.

He had no idea.


	2. In a Town as Small as Port Charles

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Author's Note: I really hated Jason and Carly's confrontation on Friday, January 25. Sometimes I don't think that Jason appreciates how much Carly loves him. He seems to have already forgotten just who risked her life and teamed up with Jerry Jacks to get him out of jail.

In a town as small as Port Charles, Carly couldn't avoid him all the time.

But she wasn't really avoiding him at all. She no longer cared enough for that.

Carly just didn't seek him out anymore. Didn't crave his company. Didn't spill every minute detail of her life to him every day.

So it felt like she was avoiding him. Because compared to how much he saw Carly before, even bumping into her once or twice a day felt like she was avoiding him.

And in a town as small as Port Charles, it wasn't unusual to catch a glimpse of her once or twice a day. But that's all he had; little glimpses into the life of the woman who was once his best friend.

Sonny told Jason that Carly was taking a big break from the hotel business until Jessica was a little older and the twins were born. Jax still consulted her on the big things, but they hired a manager to take care of the day-to-day hassles.

Because Jax wanted to work less too. He wanted to spend more time with Carly and their beautiful baby girl. Be there for Carly's pregnancy. Travel less, so he could go to doctor's appointments, and the park, and weekend trips to the beach.

They were probably the happiest couple in Port Charles. A booming hotel business in which they delegated most of the work, two beautiful children with two more on the way, and a nanny to take care of those two beautiful children when they wanted a little alone time.

Carly did get pregnant less than two months after Jessica was born, after all.

Jason did the math.

He had to, because Carly wasn't there to tell him every little detail of her relationship with Jax. She didn't tell him how happy she was that she finally got the daughter she'd been dreaming of for years. She didn't even tell him to push for his own happiness.

She didn't tell him anything. Because she didn't care anymore, and Jason was on the outside, looking in.

He had to scramble to catch those little glimpses. He had to listen in on conversations between Lulu and Spinelli. He had to ask Sonny, or Max, or even Sam, if he wanted to know how she was doing.

Jason wanted to knock on her door, invite himself in. Force her to talk to him. To care for him.

And one day, Lulu made him realize that was probably how he made Carly feel before she shut him out of her life completely.

Lulu made him look back to that time right before Michael's death. He had shut Carly out of his life, his thoughts, his secrets. She tried to push her way back in, but he just pushed her away further. So she had been acting out, trying to get his attention. Trying to make him prove that he really did still care.

Well, that was before. And this was now.

And now he was the one stuck spying, and eavesdropping, and grilling other people for information about her life.

Jason would give anything to go back in time. Change everything he did wrong.

Because he always thought that no matter how hard he pushed Carly away, she would always come back. November 1999 should have taught him differently, but Jason thought their friendship was stronger than their love.

He was wrong. So very wrong. But he didn't realize it until it was too late. And Jason knew that even if Carly forgave him, let him back into her life, it would never be the way it was before.

Because she had obviously let Jax into that little corner of her heart that she had once reserved only for Jason. And she let Sonny go completely too. So Jax owned her heart and soul, in a way that only Jason had before him.

And Jason just had to stand on the sidelines and watch what should have been his life, if he hadn't made so many stupid mistakes.

At least he still sometimes got to see Morgan. Whenever Sonny had him for the weekend, Jason tried to be around for his namesake. But the little boy took a cue from his mother.

Morgan still called him "Uncle Jason", but he didn't run into his arms full-stop anymore. But at least Morgan still seemed to somewhat care about him. Probably because he was too young to know better.

Morgan was still recovering from Michael's death, but he was still so young that he didn't completely understand that his brother was never coming back. But Morgan was strong, and he bounced back. Jason could see that he was happy.

He had a little sister to watch over, after all. And two more little angels on the way. Jason had to struggle to still matter.

So one day, when Morgan had drawn a picture for Sonny, Jason was happy that he got the privilege of looking at it first.

Morgan had drawn the house that Carly and Jax were building their family in. The sun shining, and said happy family standing in the yard. Stick figures Carly and Jax were holding hands, and Morgan drew Carly with a bulging stomach. And two little baby stick figures inside. Morgan was holding Jessica Jane. A stick figure labeled "Michael" was in the clouds, with angel wings and a halo. Surrounding the happy family, Morgan labeled more little stick figures: Daddy, Cousin Lulu, Spinelli, Grandma Bobby, Aunt Sam, Grandma Monica, Grandpa Mike, Nanny Mercedes. And there was Jason's stick figure, standing under the tree.

Just watching. Alone. In the darkness of the tree's shadow.

Jason somehow managed a smile and told Morgan that it was a very nice picture. Told Morgan that Sonny would love it.

He managed to turn away before Morgan could see the tears in his eyes.

Because if Jason had done what he was supposed to, Michael would be down on the ground with everyone else. And Jason would be part of the circle, if not inside it.

Right next to Carly. Where he's always belonged.

He was just too thickheaded to realize it before it was too late.

Really, if Jason had done what he was supposed to, Morgan would have been his son. Jessica and the twins Carly was carrying would have been his too. He would never have given up Michael, and he and Carly would be married and happy.

But it was only a dream.

And worse, it was just his dream now. Carly had given up on him. Saturday, January 26, 2008 at 7:43 p.m.

That's when the last hope between Jason and Carly died.

With Michael.

In a town as small as Port Charles, Carly couldn't avoid him all the time.

But she wasn't really avoiding him at all. She no longer cared enough for that.


	3. It Was A Day Just Like Any Other

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

It was a day just like any other.

Jason woke up, got dressed, and went to the office.

But Carly was there. Talking to Sonny.

It threw him back in time. Before Michael died. A time when Carly still cared. When her eyes lit up just because of his presence. Now…

She just gave him a nod before brushing past him towards the door.

And it was the most acknowledgment that Jason had gotten from her in over a year.

Jason asked Sonny why Carly was in the office that morning. She had taken to avoiding the area like the plague. If she wanted to talk to Sonny so badly that she didn't send a message through Max, she would simply go to his house.

So whatever her reason was, it was important to her.

Lulu.

Of course.

She had gotten even more entangled with Johnny Zacchara in the past year. Jason's compassion for the boy's situation was probably one of the only reasons why the kid was still alive. Carly had gone to Sonny to plead Zacchara's case.

Said she liked the boy. Reminded her of Michael in so many ways. She didn't want to see him get hurt, and Lulu had obviously fallen in love with him.

So she told Sonny that she would appreciate it if he avoided a war. There had been a couple shootings lately, and Carly was smart. She realized that the tension between the two organizations was increasing again.

She didn't want Lulu caught in the crossfire. Carly told Sonny that it would upset her if anything happened to Johnny, but she would be devastated if anything happened to Lulu. Asked him to put guards on her younger cousin. Said she would talk to Lulu, tell her not to give Sonny's guys the slip.

If Lulu was as much like Carly as Jason thought, the girl wouldn't listen.

But Carly was involving herself in other people's business again. Jason took it as a positive sign – it meant she was truly recovering from Michael's death. She was getting back to her old self.

Jason could only hope.

So Carly didn't want a war. She liked Johnny – she didn't want him hurt, or worse. She loved Lulu, and she wanted her younger cousin safe. It went unsaid that Carly would do anything possible to keep Morgan, Jessica, and her unborn twins safe.

And even though Carly hadn't gone directly to Jason with her problems, she had to know that her conversation with Sonny would get back to him. So Jason would make sure Carly got everything she wanted. Make sure that she realized he was behind it. And maybe…

Maybe she could start to forgive him.

Things would never go back to the way they were; Jason was almost positive of that. But maybe Carly could come to care for him again – let him back into her heart. If only just a little.

So Jason would do everything he possibly could to keep Carly and her children safe. To keep anybody Carly cared about safe. Especially Lulu. And even Johnny.

Although he had to admit that he was jealous. Jealous of Jax because he was Carly's husband, jealous of Morgan and Jessica and those two little unborn miracles because Carly would love them no matter what, jealous of Lulu because Carly would do anything to keep her safe and happy, and even jealous of Johnny because his best friend was "fond" of the young mobster.

Except he wasn't her best friend anymore, was he? But she would always be his. His first true friend. The first person that really understood him and didn't judge. But, Carly didn't feel the same way about him anymore.

It was possible for Carly to be his best friend, but for Jason to not be Carly's best friend.

It made their separation hurt all the worse.

And Jason would do anything and everything he could to bring himself closer to Carly.

So he convinced Sonny to try to keep the peace.

He went to Johnny. Told the kid they didn't want a war.

Talked to Lulu – convinced her to keep guards and stay safe.

And still, he watched from the sidelines.

Caught glimpses of Carly as her stomach grew again with the joy of new life. Saw her beautiful face glow with love for her husband, children, and the rest of her family.

Watched as she finally gained some female friends.

She and Jax had donated money to the maternity ward at the hospital – said that they planned on using it a couple more times. And Carly grew closer to Dr. Lee, and Monica, and Robin, Elizabeth, Nadine, Leyla…so many other people.

People who weren't Jason.

But Jason could handle the fact that Carly had new female friends. Her happy marriage to Jax and impending motherhood took away most of the threat woman felt around Carly, so it was now easier for her to get along with her own gender.

And Jason didn't feel threatened by Carly's female friends. He was happy that she was finally building some positive relationships. The fact that Sam was her new self-proclaimed "best friend" didn't even bother Jason.

A lot, anyway.

But Jason knew that a woman could never completely fill his spot in Carly's life. And Jax was her husband, so Jason knew that Carly wouldn't tell him everything.

She liked to solve her problems outside her romantic relationship and show her partner the solutions.

It was the reason why she didn't tell Jax that she wanted a baby until she was already pregnant.

So Jason watched Carly, and he consoled himself with the fact that there was still some room in Carly's life for him. If she could ever bring herself to forgive him and let him back in, that is.

At least until she became friends with Patrick Drake.

Sam rubbed Carly and Patrick's friendship in Jason's face at every opportunity. But Jason refused to believe that Carly had replaced him in her life.

So the first time he saw them together, saw the looks that they exchanged, the way they held themselves when they were near each other, Jason wanted to scream. To cry and to rage and to break something. Everything.

Preferably Patrick's pretty boy face. With his fist. Or a knife. Or a bullet through his brain.

Jason wasn't picky.

It was a day just like any other.

Jason woke up, got dressed, and went to the office.

But Carly was lost to him. For good.

At it was all his fault.


	4. A Second Chance

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Jason thought that he was adjusting to a life without Carly's loyalty, and devotion. He thought that the memory of Carly's friendship would have to be enough. He never imagined what it would be like to regain her love as if the past two years had never happened.

But the months passed, and still Jason was held distant from Carly's life.

After years of being close to her number one priority (almost equal to Michael and Morgan, it seemed), it was strange and painful to sit on the sidelines of her life. Jason never thought that he would ever be on the outside looking in.

But he spied, and he eavesdropped, and he grilled those around her for information. Jason did all that he could to remain as close to Carly as possible.

Even if she no longer acknowledged his existence.

Carly gave birth to the twins with few complications. Two healthy blonde-haired blue-eyed baby boys.

Identical.

Jeremy Jesse Jacks and Jasper John Jacks. Remy and Junior.

Jason knew that if Carly had a son with Jax before their split, he undoubtedly would have had another namesake. Carly was adamant on continuing the tradition of the Jacks family, and she would have eventually convinced her husband to name one of their sons after her best friend.

Now, Jason wasn't even an afterthought.

Especially when Carly and Jax decided on godparents.

Lucky and Sam were Jeremy's godparents. Carly picked her cousin and new best friend.

Alexis was Jasper's godmother – obviously Jax's choice.

They must have compromised, though, because Patrick was his godfather.

It made Jason sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

Jason knew that Patrick was in love with Carly. The whole of Port Charles knew that Patrick was in love with Carly – including Jax. And Carly treated Patrick as she had always treated Jason, except to a lesser degree. He received her love, loyalty, and devotion – but not above her husband and children.

Carly would never make that mistake again.

But Patrick could be comfortably in love with Carly because he knew she was off-limits. Carly was happily married with four children – three of them under the age of two. The doctor did not have to worry about breaking his fear of commitment with her. Carly was unattainable – the perfect focus for Patrick's love and friendship as he fooled around with other women.

But Patrick also got to be involved with children without actually having any responsibility other than being a positive role model. All that entailed was making sure that Morgan didn't know about his playboy activities.

After all, Patrick had a great career, and Carly would love it if Morgan followed in his footsteps. It made Jason green with envy.

Especially when Morgan talked nonstop about "Uncle Patrick" during his weekend visits with Sonny.

Carly had to be happy that she finally picked a good male role model for her children. Morgan went on and on about how he wanted to be a doctor. Sonny didn't like Patrick, but he tolerated the man's presence in his son's life.

Anyone could see that Patrick was a positive influence.

Not like Jason. Jason's influence only got Michael killed.

But Jason learned to live without being a part of Carly's life. She would always hold a large piece of his heart, and he would always look out for her and protect her anyway he could, but Carly didn't need him to save her anymore. She was independent now; Carly learned to save herself.

And though Jason felt like he lost his identity when he lost his place as Carly's best friend, he tried to be happy for her. He knew that it was for the best for Carly. She had distanced herself even further from the mob when she cut him out of her life.

Morgan was her only connection left to Sonny, Jason, and her old life.

And it was a connection that would haunt her.

War was once again heating up between the Zacchara and Corinthos organizations in January 2010. Carly and her family should have been off-limits.

Lulu had married Johnny in 2009 – Carly was connected to that organization through her cousin.

And Morgan was Carly's connection to Sonny and the Corinthos organization.

Both sides thought that she was safe. Neither head was willing to risk her – Carly had positive relationships with both Johnny and Sonny.

Neither anticipated a third-party stepping in and realizing that Carly was the weak spot for many high-ranking mobsters. She had connections to Johnny, Sonny, Jason, and Jerry. Not to mention the newly-returned-from-the-dead Lorenzo Alcazar.

Who was newly-obsessed with his ex-wife.

So a new party to the game thought that Carly or one of her children would make a good bargaining chip. They attempted a kidnapping on January 26, 2010.

Exactly two years after Michael's death.

Every one of Carly's guards except for Max had been taken out. He managed to protect her and call for back-up.

Carly had only Morgan with her that day; Jessica, Remy, and Junior had been with Jax. But if Carly's survival instincts had always been strong, her maternal instincts had even been stronger. She helped Max fight off her attackers and prevented them from kidnapping either Morgan or herself.

And she received blunt head trauma as a result.

Patrick had been her doctor, of course. Only "the best" for his best friend. Still, even Patrick Drake couldn't reverse brain damage.

So when Carly woke up on January 26, 2010 at 7:43 p.m. and thought it was January 24, 2008, there was nothing Patrick could do for her except to try to keep her comfortable and calm.

And when Carly called for Jason first…?

Jason thought that he was adjusting to a life without Carly's loyalty, and devotion. He thought that the memory of Carly's friendship would be enough. He never imagined what it would be like to regain her love as if the past two years had never happened.

But by some accidental miracle, Jason had received a second chance.


	5. Accidental Miracles and Utter Chaos

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Jason thought that he was adjusting to a life without Carly's loyalty, and devotion. He thought that the memory of Carly's friendship would be enough. He never imagined what it would be like to regain her love as if the past two years had never happened.

But by some accidental miracle, Jason had.

But would Carly's new life stand in the way of their reunion?

The first thing Carly did when she woke up was demand to know why she was in the hospital. And demand to be let out as soon as possible.

The second thing Carly did was ask for Jason. Patrick knew there was something wrong immediately – the woman he loved was not acting like her normal self. He subtly asked her a few questions. Carly was a smart woman – if he asked her what the date was she would know something was wrong immediately.

Piecing together the information, Patrick quickly realized that Carly thought it was sometime before January 26, 2008. She had mentioned Michael several times in the present tense, demanding to know if Mercedes was taking care of her boys. Carly also thought that Jax was out of town on business (Hawaii, she claimed, although Jax hadn't been there since before she was pregnant with Jessica) and that Sonny was missing after going to see Kate in New York City (Patrick didn't mention that Sonny hadn't seen Kate for almost two years now).

The first thing Patrick did when Carly woke up was try to keep her calm without telling her exactly what had happened. And try to find out where her mind was.

The second thing Patrick did was evade questions about Jason. He knew that this Carly, pre-Michael's death Carly, would not take kindly to any negative comments about her supposed best friend. And he also knew the strength of Carly's devotion to the unemotional mobster and exactly what it would take to break that loyalty. Patrick attempting to tell Carly what happened would just result in her denial.

Patrick had learned to predict Carly reasonably well in the past two years of their friendship. He liked to think that they had grown close. He knew that if Carly felt threatened at all, felt backed into a corner, she would attack fiercely to protect herself and her loved ones. And this Carly still considered Jason one of her loved ones.

So Patrick used his knowledge of Carly's interests and emotions to keep her occupied for a little while. He wanted to keep her awakening a secret from her husband and family for as long as possible in the hopes that she would regain her memory soon. He hoped that a couple minutes of talking with a familiar face would jog her memories quickly.

It was a false hope.

But Carly was visibly disoriented, so Patrick was successful in distracting her from thinking about Michael or Jason. He managed to deflect many of her questions with ease.

Patrick knew that he had to keep Jason as far away from Carly as possible. The mobster had become her perpetual shadow these past two years, a stalker watching on the sidelines of her life.

Jason was waiting for the right moment to jump in and be the hero. Be the savior that Carly hadn't needed since her precious son's death.

Jason would take advantage of the situation. He wouldn't let the opportunity to regain Carly's love slip him by if he had the slightest chance. Patrick knew that Jason could easily take advantage of her confusion and impede her progress in regaining her memories.

But Carly had to regain those memories.

She had to.

Otherwise she would be forced to grieve over Michael's death all over again. Forced to accept the fact that she had three children with Jax who she couldn't remember giving birth to. Couldn't remember loving and raising. She would have to deal with the fact that she lost two years of her life, of her children's lives.

And Patrick knew that would destroy her independence. Shake the foundations of her confidence.

Make her vulnerable and needy.

Just like she had been, all those years ago, when Jason had saved Carly that first time when her back was against the wall. When Jason became the center of her universe.

Patrick wouldn't let that happen a second time, not if he could do anything to prevent it. Especially after Carly had finally torn herself free from Jason's orbit.

And maybe, selfishly, Patrick didn't want them to reunite because Jason would force him out of Carly's life.

Patrick would lose his spot as her best friend if he failed to help Carly regain her memories.

Just as Jason had two years ago when he failed to protect Carly's son.

So it was with a heavy heart that Patrick left Carly's room, unsuccessful in jogging her memories of the past two years. Telling her that he had to make his rounds, Patrick warned Carly to stay in bed and rest.

Visitors would be allowed once he told her family that she was awake. Carly wasn't happy, but she was visibly tired and quickly fell back to sleep. She murmured something about keeping Morgan and Michael away while she was in the hospital, but said that she would mind seeing her mother or Lulu.

But Jason's name was the last one on her lips before she slipped into sleep. Just as Patrick knew it would be.

This Carly had not yet realized what a detrimental effect Jason Morgan had on her life. And she would not realize it again until she had regained her memories.

So Patrick went into the waiting room to tell Jax and the rest of the family that Carly was awake. He hoped that seeing Jax and the children would help Carly regain her memories before Jason even learned of Carly's memory loss.

Jax was pacing from one end of the waiting room to the other, anxious and impatient. Morgan was whining to his Grandma Bobbie that he was bored, while Mercedes and Lulu tried to keep the young twins calm. Jessica was toddling around the room from person to person. Right now she was clinging to her "Uncle Johnny" (Patrick always thought that was funny, considering the young head of the Zacchara organization was actually her second cousin by marriage). Mike and Sonny were whispering quietly in the corner, the latter keeping a close eye on his only remaining son. Lucky and Sam were huddled together on the uncomfortable plastic chairs, while Jerry Jacks held himself aloof from the rest of the group.

The nurses and doctors that passed through always gave a comforting word to the family, keeping their ears open for any news. The watchful eyes of many guards surrounded the people in the waiting room (minus the usually-vigilant Max, who was in a hospital bed himself being treated for minor wounds and a moderate concussion).

It was utter chaos.

And it stopped dead when Patrick walked into the room.

As he quietly explained Carly's medical situation to her family, he failed to notice the shadow listening in and then slipping quietly into his patient's room. If he had, he would have stopped Jason's attempt to speak to Carly immediately.

But there was a reason Jason was the best hit man in the business.

And it certainly wasn't because he got noticed when he was trying to be stealthy.

Jason thought that he was adjusting to a life without Carly's loyalty, and devotion. He thought that the memory of Carly's friendship would be enough. He never imagined what it would be like to regain her love as if the past two years had never happened.

But by some accidental miracle, Jason had.

And he wouldn't let anything stand in the way of their reunion.


	6. Contemplation and Prayers

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Jason slipped into Carly's hospital room without any of her family noticing. His breathe caught in his throat as he saw Carly sleeping in her bed. Her blonde hair fanned over the white pillow, and she was breathing softly and steadily.

Jason thought she was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen. He noticed the bruises on her face and the scratches on her arms, as he had always noticed everything about her, but they didn't detract from her beauty. They were symbols of her strength; Carly had fought off her attackers to protect her son and stay with her family.

And she succeeded; now Carly was safe in her hospital bed, far from the grasp of any ambitious mobster.

Jason would make sure of that. He would never fail her again.

Because as relieved as he felt to see Carly safe and sound in General Hospital, Jason knew it would pale in comparison to seeing her baby blue eyes look upon him with anything but coldness. Carly's face had once lit up the room upon seeing him; Jason never acknowledged how much he missed that until faced with the possibility that she could once again look upon him as if he was her hero. Her savior.

Her best friend.

Jason had remained unseen from her family in the waiting room. He knew that some would welcome him with open arms, while others would turn a cold shoulder. Or worse yet, Jax would tell him to leave and ask hospital security to remove him.

But Jason also knew that Patrick would not say anything about Carly's condition if he saw him anywhere around. Especially after hearing Patrick tell everybody about Carly's amnesia. The doctor told them that she could not recall approximately the past two years.

Two years.

Jason had never been one for hoping or praying, but he sent a plea to any god above that Carly did not remember Michael's death. Did not remember his failure of her love, trust, and devotion.

Did not remember their last confrontation that fateful day in his office.

Because Jason knew he would have a chance to make things right if she did not remember that confrontation. He had called her a problem, an obstacle to his happiness.

Her face as she left his office, left him, for that last time had haunted his nightmares for the past two years.

And her face filled with all the love and affection she held for him only existed in his dreams. And the pictures and photographs Carly herself had taught him to appreciate all those years ago.

So Jason sat in the hard, cold plastic hospital chair by the bedside of the woman who would have been his soul's mate had he not pushed her so far away all those years ago. Pushed her into the arms of his supposed best friend and mentor, and then into a marriage and family with that very same man.

And even then she would not give up on him; Carly refused to stop believing in him. She held onto him with both hands and tried to be the best friend possible. She defended him against the world, against her family, against her own husbands. Carly had constantly told him just how much she loved him, and she proved her love through her actions.

And Jason had pushed her friendship away just as surely as her love. But the harder he pushed, the harder Carly held on to their friendship.

Until Michael's death.

Their relationship had always been a dysfunctional game of tug-of-war. Jason and Carly, pushing and pulling, both desperately digging their heels in. Jason was usually the one giving the rope more slack in an attempt to increase the distance between them. Carly was the one pulling with all her might, trying to keep him as close as possible.

During Michael's last few seconds, the roles had been reversed. Jason tried to make up for lost time, desperately pulling the rope tighter in an attempt to draw Carly closer.

But it had been too late.

Carly had given up and let go of the rope that bound them together.

And Jason was left unbalanced to suffer the fall. Alone with only his broken heart as company.

It hurt all the more looking back because Jason knew; he knew without a doubt, that if he had not blown up at Carly the day before Michael's death that she would have turned to him for comfort while she grieved. The fault for her son's death would have still been his, but Carly would not have blamed the best friend that she so desperately needed.

But Jason had pushed her away. He purposely hurt her with his words, snubbing her love for him and injuring her pride. He made it so Carly felt that she could no longer take comfort in him or depend on him.

He failed her.

So she turned to Jax instead. Carly let her husband take care of her in a way that she never would have had Jason still been an option in her eyes. Her best friend seemingly backed her into a corner.

So Carly did what she does best when her back is against the wall.

She became unpredictable and lashed out at everyone she thought had hurt her.

Unpredictably, this time her target was Jason.

And Carly lashed out in a way that she knew would maximize his pain; she kept it all inside and didn't let him help. She ignored him, gave him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder, and then turned to others for comfort.

Her silence wounded Jason more surely than her yelling ever could. Jason could handle her shouts, her insults and accusations; it was the utter nothing that he could not deal with.

And her indifference wounded Jason more surely than her hatred ever could. Jason could handle her anger, her cries and slaps; it was the utter nothing that he could not deal with.

Carly obviously moved on with her life, while Jason was stuck in the past. He no longer knew who he was.

Jason had defined himself by two roles for so long: he was a hit man in the business, and he was Carly's best friend and hero.

Jason had not known two years ago which he would prefer to lose if given the choice. But Carly had been the only woman to ever accept the life, so Jason never thought that he would ever have to choose between being her best friend and being a part of the organization.

Given the choice at that very moment, Jason knew that he would pick having Carly back in his life. He would give up his life in the mob without a second's hesitation if it meant that he could have this woman back in his life. It was pathetic just how much he needed her, but the emotional distance of the past two years had just made Jason that need increase.

So Jason sat in that cold, hard chair and stared at the slumbering face of the only woman who could warm his cold, hard life. He was lost without her, and he prayed that she would not remember that last confrontation. At least not immediately.

It would give Jason the necessary time to convince Carly just how much he loved and needed her. He would tell her how much he appreciated her friendship and trust, and Jason would take back every bad word he ever said against her in anger.

And then maybe she would give him a second chance when she finally regained her memories.

Jason heard Patrick's explanation come to a halt in the waiting room. Carly's family had finally run out of questions.

Jax would be the first one in to see her. And then it would be a stream of constant visitors until hours were over that night. Carly had become a very popular person during his two-year absence from her life.

So he dared to lift a seemingly dainty hand (he knew just how much strength and love it really held) and press a soft kiss to her palm.

Jason slipped out of Carly's hospital room without any of her family noticing. His breathe caught in his throat as he said a silent goodbye. Her blonde hair fanned over the white pillow, and she was breathing softly and steadily.

He would be back again tonight.


	7. Anything for Love

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Jason stayed away from Carly for the day. He had stayed away for two years, what was another couple hours?

Jason forced himself to stay away from Carly all day. Max was at the hospital, keeping him apprised of the situation and keeping guard over Carly. Jason waited at home while all of Carly's new friends paraded themselves through her room to see her condition.

Max said that she had been asking for him all day.

That just made it harder for Jason to stay away, knowing that Carly was hurt and in pain and wanting him. She had to be confused – Sam, Robin, and Elizabeth coming into her room like they were old friends, and Patrick talking to her like they were best friends. They probably hadn't told her about Michael yet – Jason had a feeling that everybody was hoping that she would remember the past two years by herself.

And she didn't remember Jessica, Jeremy, or Jasper. She didn't remember the three beautiful children that she had with Jax in the past two years.

For Jason it was a double-edge sword. He never wanted her remember the past two years, because he knew that their relationship, their friendship would be gone again. But he knew how much it would hurt her to be missing two years of her memory. To face the fact that her eldest son was truly dead, and that she had three children who she couldn't remember.

And even worse, Jason knew that Carly had been happy without him. That Carly had grieved Michael's death these past two years, but that she was genuinely happy and settled in the life she was living with Jax and her family and all her new friends.

So Jason waited for night to fall, and he slipped into her hospital room without being noticed. Carly was sleeping again, probably worn out from all her visitors.

Jason quietly sat in the plastic chair beside Carly's bed, just watching his estranged best friend. Just enjoying any time spent with her, even if she was sleeping. Jason craved her presence. After two years with only glimpses of Carly's beautiful face, it was heaven to be able to watch her unabashedly.

Carly gently stirred from sleep, as if sensing Jason's eyes on her. Or perhaps just his presence. Before their estrangement, Carly always seemed to know when Jason was near.

Carly could recognize Jason anywhere. She could find him in a crowd of millions. And she could see through any masks he put on – whether emotional or physical. In the Metro Court hostage crisis, Carly was the only person to see through Jason's ski mask and realize that he was there to save them.

"Jase...?" she asked sleepily, blinking open her beautiful blue eyes. When she spotted him sitting in the chair next to her, a gorgeous smile lit up her face.

Jason just stared at Carly. He had almost forgotten how her face used to light up when she saw him. Jason knew that he used to be able to brighten her day with just a "hello", with just a minute of his time. He had no idea what her friendship, love, and devotion meant to him until it was gone.

He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Where've you been, Jase?" Carly asked sleepily. "Nobody would tell me where you were. I kept asking for you, but nobody would answer me."

"I'm here now," Jason told her simply. "I'll always be here for you when you need me."

Carly smiled wider at his promise.

"I know," she replied. "I know that I can always count on you to catch me when I fall."

Jason managed not to wince at her words, at her blind faith in his ability to make everything right again. He did not dare bring up all the times he had failed her. And he couldn't promise not to do it again. But he would put her first in his life – Jason swore to himself that he would never ever again let himself forget that Carly and her children were his number one priority.

"You're so beautiful," Jason complimented her, brushing Carly's hair back from her face. "I've missed you so much."

Carly did not quite understand where his compliment and confession were coming from.

"I'm all bruised up," she told his laughingly. "You don't have to lie and tell me I'm beautiful to make me feel better. Besides, Dr. Drake told me that I haven't been out that long – how could you miss me already?"

"I don't lie. You're the most beautiful thing in the entire world, no matter what you look like. You are my entire world, Carly. Don't you ever doubt that," Jason told her firmly. "I miss you as soon as you're out of my sight. And one second that you're hurting is too long – those goons never should have gotten to you."

Carly was stunned at Jason's speech. Her best friend had never really been one for words. He never really told her his feelings. And he had never ever told her how important she was to him without her prompting.

"I love you, Carly. I will love you forever," Jason continued. "And I will spend the rest of my life making sure you're safe and happy. I will do whatever I have to, whatever you want to make sure that you have the best life possible."

"Whatever I want?" Carly asked teasingly.

"Anything!" Jason swore seriously. Solemnly.

And it was the truth. After two years without Carly. After two years without Carly's love and trust and devotion, Jason was willing to do whatever she wanted to keep those things. To keep her.

"So if I wanted to get those cell phones that only call each other? You know, the ones that you made fun of me for wanting? You'd get them for me?" Carly asked him, testing his seriousness.

"I'll have your phone to you by tomorrow," Jason promised.

He remembered when she asked about those phones the first time. Carly had been tailing Hannah, and Hannah had a special phone that connected her only to her FBI partner.

God, that had been so long ago. That was the time when Jason could almost read Carly's mind. He could finish her sentences, and sometimes even articulate her thoughts without her having to say a word. They had both laughed when Jason knew exactly what Carly was thinking, exactly what she wanted.

Jason now regretted taking that amazing connection for granted.

"You're serious," Carly told him, almost amazed. She gazed into his eyes, trying to read him. Trying to find the explanation for his behavior.

"Dead," he replied.

"This attack must have really shaken you up, Jase," Carly said. "But I'm fine now. Couple bruises and cuts, but I'll recover. Dr. Drake…Patrick, he told me to call him Patrick…said that I'll be out in a couple days. He just wants to run some tests because he said I have a concussion."

Jason just nodded at the confirmation that nobody had explained to Carly the real situation.

"Every time you get hurt it really shakes me up. Every bruise, every cut. This life is dangerous, Carly. It's dangerous, and it's hard. And I know you know that, that you knew that when you came to me for help all those years ago, but I still feel it every time you get hurt because of this life," Jason admitted.

"Feel it?" Carly asked. "What do you feel, Jase?"

"Guilt. Pain. Sorrow," Jason explained. "I love you Carly. And I need you. If I ever lost you…"

Jason trailed off. He was going to say, "I don't know what I'd do." But Jason knew – it had happened, after all.

But it was so easy to forget the last two years. Here, in Carly's hospital room. With her beautiful trusting blue eyes looking at him with love and devotion. Looking at him like he was everything good in her world.

And so, Jason stayed with Carly for the night. He had stayed away for two years, and he couldn't be away from her for another hour.


	8. Giraffe Phones and Renewed Connections

He Had No Idea

Disclaimer: I do not own General Hospital. Carly and Jason belong to ABC and Disney.

Jason was never going to break another promise to Carly, not for as long as he lived.

So Jason spent the night in Carly's hospital room, and he disappeared only with the first touch of sunlight upon her window.

As he looked back for one last glance at his newly-returned best friend, Jason lost his breath at how beautiful she looked bathed in early morning light. Even with bruises on her face and drool at the corner of her lip, Jason did not think he had ever seen a better sight.

Because Jason knew that this Carly loved him. Trusted him. Adored him. And he would do anything to keep that.

To keep her.

So Jason left Carly's bedside before anyone could discover him.

Anyone being Patrick or Jax, or Elizabeth or Robin, or even Sam. All of these people who claimed parts of the new Carly that Jason could no longer touch.

But the old Carly was back – Jason's Carly was back. And most of her parts were Jason's – parts that these other people could only dream of having any claim on.

And Milo guarded Carly for most of the day. Allowing only the visitors she wanted, and keeping everybody else out.

And Milo told Jason that Carly was asking for him again – asking where Jason was. And Jason forced himself to stay away, coming to her bedside only once night fell.

Night. When the hospital was still, and Jason could slip undetected through the darkness to her side.

And Jason was never going to break another promise to Carly, not for as long as he lived.

So Jason bought those cell phones that could only send and receive calls from one other number. He would prove to Carly just how serious he was about giving her anything and everything she wanted.

He would give Carly the world if only she would keep looking upon him with eyes filled with love. Those beautiful blue eyes, adoring and devoted, that he had always taken for granted.

Because he had truly believed that nothing he or anyone else could do would take Carly's love away from him. He had taken for granted her loyalty and stubbornness, and Jason had paid the price.

For two years.

So Jason bought those two phones that Carly had wanted all those years ago. One for Carly and one for Jason. Connecting them only to each other.

He would have his with him at all times, in case she ever needed him.

Jason would never fail her again.

And that night, as Jason walked past the hospital's gift store, something caught his eye.

Stickers.

Jason just had to laugh at how gaudy they were – he knew Carly would get a laugh out of them. So Jason acted uncharacteristically – he stepped out of his comfort zone.

And he went into the gift store to buy the stickers with the animals from Africa. And he took the giraffe stickers, and he put one on Carly's phone and one on his.

He knew she'd be surprised. He knew she'd be shocked. But Jason also knew that she'd be pleased – because the giraffe had become the symbol of their connection ever since he had sent that stuffed animal for Michael at Carly's bridal shower.

Jason hoped to renew that connection that he'd so foolishly severed. And he hoped to keep Carly in his life, even after she'd regained her memories.

Jason was never going to break another promise to Carly, not for as long as he lived.

So he slipped silently back into her hospital room that night. And he watched her sleep for a while. And he watched her wake up. And he presented her with his gift, and watched her eyes light up.

And Jason knew that he had to tell this woman that he was in love with her - before it was too late and she remembered just how much she no longer loved him.


End file.
